Twisted Up


I can't live anymore
I can't breath
Stuck in this place of agony

I can't make myself feel
What I do not
The tears I cry burn red hot

The pain I feel
Cuts my soul
Disappointment is what I know

I'm stuck in fear of moving on
Of letting go and you being gone
What if then I find you were right

And it's over and done
And I can't make it right.

I'm stuck in indecision
Living out of breath
Forever fighting my own personal death

Such a good person
Why can't my heart be
Twisted up in you
Bing twisted up in me?



I wrapped myself in your words
I filled myself with your comfort
I lived in the eyes of your admiration
I felt loved

We connected
My heart grew
And then you took it from me
I came undone

Sometimes I can't breathe
Because I feel your loss
I feel the pull and the push
I want to pull you back
But you won't relent

And I would never ask it
I would never change you

You made up your mind
And you were done

I turn slowly
I let go like a sloth

You just let go...

My heart is broken
My heart is melting and cracked

I feel pain
I run from it
But it keeps finding me every place I hide

I see your face
Every place I go
Every day I long for you
I am undone

The Truth

The Truth

Your lips lie
Every day

But your eyes always told me the truth
Hauntingly so

I felt the chill of what they spoke
The unsaid truth
Reflected in your gaze

It spoke of what
Should never be said

Your pain and love
Betrayed by the windows of your soul

Whatever you say you are
I don't believe

Because your eyes
Always tell the truth

by ELL



You are the quiet romance
I will never stop chasing

You hold a key
That unlocks my heart

You gather my thoughts
Bring them to the gates of heaven

You raise me from darkness
You shift the shadows

You guide the light
Into the refurbishing of my soul

How could I not embrace you
How could I not want you

I will slow dance with you
On a moonlit night

I will run with you
Until sweat drips from my hair

I will take you in
And hold you captive

I will find you
In every beautiful moment

And in ever broken moment
I will fight to keep you mine.

How could I not love you.

by ELL


When the quiet creeps in
And shadows cover the affection of your heart
When friends walk away
Or what they were departs

When lonely voices
Drip like honey
Inside your heart
Calling you further into the darkness

Gather what remains
scrape together,even the crumbs of your courage
Call to the light
Run to even the smallest glimmer of hope

Gather your strength
Find a way to rise
Fight for your life
Determine you will live

Though ashes cover you
Though disappointment fills your heart
Though hope feels far
Reach out, fight for yourself and


by ELL

Who are You?

I don't know the next step
What to do is not in view

I struggle with the connecting
And the finding of you

Everyone has a take
On who you're supposed to be

My thoughts are always moving
Searching for the God I want to see

Religion has crafted
And sculpted your face
But the likeness it purposes
Of you reflects no trace

I feel the bitter loneliness
Of not finding you
The grave feeling
Of what should I do?

I'm sifting through thoughts
The good and bad I see
The God that's invisible
Does he really touch you and me

The world in angry
They want you to move
They see the world hurting
And want you to prove

That you are good
And powerful too
That you do the things
That make you, you.

So here I am
I will continue to be
One searching for you
For your greatness to see

Going to church
Sitting in a pew
Reciting a prayer
Singing a song
It isn't love
It's a resounding gong.

I'll ask the questions
"Good" Christians won't
I'll approach your throne
When they say, "Don't"
Not in brazen disrespect
But because I want to not regret
If you are real
And good and strong
I want to know you
And live your song...
The life and beauty that you speak
The wholeness of you
Is what I seek.

by ELL

Maybe and What If

Sometimes this world is too much
And everyone's around you
But there's no one to touch.

So you sit in your sorrow
You hide inside your soul

Everyone is near you
But there's no one to know

You say everything
Except what you mean

And your voice is shouting
But you remain unseen

Sometimes your heart is full of things to give
But you feel empty without a place to live

If you could just dance your dance and be free
But you're bound by ropes others can't see

Maybe you were meant to be beautifully broken
A crazy catastrophe of art

Maybe the best part of you
Is the brokenness of your heart

Maybe others can see themselves
In your mixed up soul

What if the wholeness that you give
Is the broken honesty that you know

If you could find a place to rise
A breath to embrace

If you could find the heart to love
The sorrow in your face

Maybe if you could see yourself
Through the eyes of love

You would rise from the ashes
Like the dawning sky

You would know that you are more
Then the first glance of the eye

by ELL