Jesus vs. Religion

Jesus vs. Religion

Religion for sale:

Boxed up
to ship.

We don't bubble wrap or tape.
Nothing sent out unless neatly wrapped.
The insurance purchased is great.
As long as you follow all our rules.
We do wrap up all boxed items
With beautiful paper.

We strictly operate on a fixed
Inflexible rate.

Don't send us anything fragile
We won't handle with care.

Don't forget the purchase is final
We don't care if you're satisfied
Just make sure you follow our rules
And the box will arrive beautiful on the outside.

The inside may be broken
Torn apart
Or a complete mess.
You may not receive what you think you ordered.

But we don't care as long as you follow our rules.
When you receive the box we promise it will fix you.
Even though it won't.
You may be a bigger mess then before
Due to the contents of the box.
Contents of the box may cause
And striving.


No religion required.

no box required
no shipping fees
no fancy packaging
no expiration date
no assembly required
no purchase price
Guaranteed to be more then you expected.
Delivery right on time.
You will be more than satisfied.

Upon arrival
Jesus will handle you with care
Heal your broken parts
Bind up your wounds
And refund all stolen from you
No matter who stole it or when.
Your life back eternally guaranteed.

by ELL

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